International travel is all about new cultures and experiences, and obviously we love it. But sometimes, Brothers and Sisters – you just gotta laugh.
Our Krakow apartment is very comfortable and works perfectly for us. It has lots of charm, and is located midway between the Old Town and the Jewish Quarter, Kazimierz. But that’s not to say that it didn’t have a few surprises for us.
First, the bathroom had a frosted-glass door, which thanks to some clever planning, just happened to face the love seat in the living room. The toilet was strategically located, just inside the door. It doesn’t take much imagination to envision the problems this arrangement caused. My Rodin-style “Thinker” pose can’t have been that attractive. Terri and I are close, but we ain’t THAT close. Needless to say, we worked out a protocol.
Also, on the opposite wall in front of the toilet, was a large, ceramic, industrial-size, motion-sensitive, auto-flushing urinal. We had a perfect view of this white, gleaming monstrosity while seated on the toilet. Its bonus feature was that each time we walked past it would automatically flush, forcing us to hang a towel over the motion sensor.
And finally, the pièce de résistance – the NASA-inspired corner shower stall, which was so modern that it would’ve fit nicely on the International Space Station. It had a small seat, multiple water jets, rotating massagers, and a hand wand. It turns out that the glowing remote control I was so curious about was actually a radio.
My first shower was a cold, cruel reminder of the consequences of being the trailblazer. I stepped in boldly, fired up the small radio, and immediately heard the overture from either Spartacus or The Ten Commandments. (I am not making this up.) I pulled the wand off the wall, pointed it toward the floor, and turned what I believed to be the main faucet handle. But to my %!@#X surprise, freezing cold water whooshed out one of the lower jets bushwhacking me (pun intended) in a very sensitive spot. I reacted with lightning speed, but the damage was done, and it took a couple of minutes for my teeth to stop chattering.
There must be a lesson here, but the best I could come up with is to let Terri go first next time.