“I am always doing things I can’t do,
that’s how I get to do them.”
Summer is a time for daydreaming, introspection, and making lists. One popular list is an inventory of personal abilities and accomplishments – you know, where you summarize all the things you’ve learned or achieved. And I must admit that I love these wonderful lists, but when I sat down to catalog my triumphs, I could only think of all the things I haven’t learned … YET!
I still don’t know how to:
Speak French fluently. Even though I started lessons in high school, took some adult courses, and studied French for Dummies while living in Sudan, I’m still about as fluent as a four-year old. But I can order French pastries with panache.
Bake biscuits as light, flaky, and delicious as James’ Mom’s tasty morsels. I think the secret was the lard she used!
Quit humming a favorite song repeatedly, even though James has given me the “raised eyebrows stare.” What?
Balance! As a teenager faced with mandatory gym class gymnastics – and the dreaded balance beam – I became well acquainted with the mats they put under them. So I would practice at home on the farm, walking the skinny metal rails of the cattle guard (much to the amusement of Waldo the Bull), but I still have lousy balance!
Ride a bike with no hands. I just keep envisioning the jack-knife wreck when I hit that stray rock … or T-bone a wayward squirrel.
Beat James at Rock-Paper-Scissors. It’s like he reads my mind.
Make that really loud whistle – you know the one when someone sticks two fingers in their mouth and hails a cab … or a sheepdog. How do they do it? But at least I can wiggle my ears.
Brush and floss my teeth the way the Dental Hygienist wants me to – because she seems to have a different technique every time I go!
Put eyedrops in. Just can’t do it – makes me blink and gag.
Drive a stick shift very well. I can grind my way through a transmission (since I learned on a tractor), but it’s not pretty. James says I’m the master of the second gear takeoff.
Debone a chicken … but Dianne’s going to teach me! Yay!
Fold a fitted sheet properly – you know, the Martha Stewart way. Oh I stumble my way through it, but it still ends up pretty wonky.
Resist chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. I know that less is more, but in this case … that’s just wrong!
And trust me, this list is only the tip of the iceberg of things I can’t do yet … but I do have the rest of the summer. What about you – are there any things you still can’t do?